2008 resort collection by my BFF Karl Lagerfeld kind of sort of hurricaned me off my feet. Los Angeles airfield? Holy freak. Blocking air traffic. For a fashion show. Crazy, I wish I had been there. Actually I wish I had been at the control tower listening to cussing pilots. Oh that opening outfit was so amazing. I have a thing for navy captain military–ish uniforms. The headbands were so counterculture, duh hippies, but I liked how they were repeated in the stripes on the jumpsuits. Colour motif, ingenious. And the cutout dresses on the silk blouses, those made me want to bawl in astonishment and admiration. The white and black gown was pretty stellar (the thesaurus says “astrophysical”) too. Then one of the male models came out with a pair of roller skates around his neck, I wonder if that hurt. I remember when I first started roller skating, my roller skates were so heavy on my feet. Like wearing lead boots. Imagine that on your neck. You’d get a pretty deep red mark from the laces. And then, high top trainers, white and grey. Mens though grr. I’m a sucker for sneaks but can’t you at least let some of the girlies wear them? Plus, grey bottoms all around. Cargo shorts for kleptos because you can store more merchandise. Wide–leg trousers if you have gorgeous mile–long legs. And skinny flat–front ones, keeping up with that trend. Hm, gone soft, no? As all out as this show was, one thing really ticked me off. Crui
se collection it is, but does it mean you have to completely commercialize every single thing, Karl? I saw way too many logos. And on baseball caps even. Barf bucket, please. Those huge logo necklaces. Looks like Lagerfeld made a visit to Canal Street for last minute accessories. And one outfit was completely heinous. The cowboy hat, what the fuck, fug ass denim, Texas. Texas? Since when is Texan gear considered fashion–forward? Texas is like an alien planet, drawwwl. The flat grey ankle boots were so hilarious. Peep–toe boots, hilarious but still, would I wear them? Karl Dawwg made them, of course I would. And guys, don’t forget to snag yourself a puppy, err purse on a leash. Quilted leather, huge “CHANEL” scrawl, guaranteed purebred, it even comes with pet insurance!Love,
Natski, Sartorial Fascist
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